SFFS 11/10/2014

Hi! Thought I’d drop in again this week and give y’all the next snippet from A Good Day to Die. In the last snippet, our male MC discovered he’d been transported into the presence of his former Captain and Admiral. He isn’t, to say the least, very happy with the current state of affairs.

He rose to his feet and rushed the Admiral, but the admiral touched the personal protection button on the belt at his waist, which sent him flying across the room to land at the bottom of the bulkhead in a crumpled heap. He shook his head to clear the sparks that danced across his vision, and clambered upright.

“Stand at attention, Soldier.” That was the captain.

He automatically stood to attention, but his mind was asking one question. Why?

The Admiral slow-walked around him, looking him up and down minutely – at least, so far as he could see. Daring too, considering he’d just attacked him. As happened at every inspection he’d ever undergone, the skin below his external implants began to itch, and the muscle in his left eyelid twitched uncontrollably. Why had they never found a remedy for the reaction to scrutiny? Oh yes – he was now obsolete. His programming was no longer supported.

After a while the Admiral rejoined the captain. “It’ll do.”

Please remember this is a first draft, so it isn’t anywhere near perfect yet. Either way, would love to know your thoughts. And when you’re finished here, please go through to the main SFFS site to see what the other fabulous authors have shared this week.

Thanks for dropping by!

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About Laurel C Kriegler

A born and bred South African, I was educated at Rhodes University in Grahamstown, South Africa, where I graduated with an Honours Degree (post-graduate) in Economics at the end of 2001. After spending several years gaining work experience in the UK, I returned to South Africa to get married. It was during the ensuing period that my pursuits of writing and editing took hold.
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6 Responses to SFFS 11/10/2014

  1. Peter Vialls says:

    The Admiral’s use of “it” rather than “he” brings home just how much the military high command view our protagonist as an object, a resource to be used. Nicely chilling.

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  2. Yes, poor obsolete protagonist. Time to prove the Admiral wrong!

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  3. jccassels says:

    I found the use of “it” telling as well. Nicely done.

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